The Hidden Secret: How to Do It All
People often ask me, how do you do it all?! I work full-time as an immigration paralegal for a large law firm, maintain my blog, enjoy a happy marriage, and raise two little ones. The secret is… I don’t do it all. At least, not 100% all the time.
Let me explain. As a perfectionist, I’m always struggling to give everything 100%, A+ attitude. But, in reality, that doesn’t always work. Currently, I’m extremely busy with work at my law firm. We recently lost a few employees and we are trying our best to refill those positions. However, there is still this time in between where we have to take on the extra work. To explain my work life lately as slammed is an understatement. I come in each day knowing I won’t even accomplish a fraction of the items I should that day.
This requires me to walk away from my desk more frequently and take some slow calming breaths to prevent a total breakdown. But, because I am so busy at work, my blog has been the thing that suffered.
I haven’t been able to dedicate the time, resources, or mental fortitude to develop well-thought and meaningful posts. The craziest part? Writing calms me. It puts me in a better place and allows me to enjoy my passion. That’s why I forced myself to start writing this post now.
Another confession? I try my best to never let my kids get anything less than 100%. However, as any mom knows, you always think you could do more. When I came home tired and just wanted to put my feet up, I should have got down on the floor and played. But, I didn’t. When I should have had more patience during the kids’ arguing, I didn’t. Along with many, many other instances of my self-proclaimed shortcomings as a mom.
I try to continue to remind myself that my kids will remember the sum of the whole, not each individual part. They will remember that there is always love and even in my shortcomings and failures, they will always find love. That’s really all that matters to give your kids 100% in the end.
When it comes to my marriage, we try our best to dedicate time to each other. However, with my busy schedule, my husband maintaining his company that is the busiest it has ever been, and juggling household duties together, it can be difficult to focus on each other. We get comfortable knowing the other will always be there. That our relationship is one that doesn’t require any work or effort.
While this is all true, we still need to give our relationship the care it deserves. Date nights, even infrequently, need to be a priority. At this point, I wouldn’t even mind a date night that involved Home Depot or the grocery store. It would be that unapologetic time where the two of us can speak to each other, uninterrupted.
So, even though I must have the appearance that I have it all handled, I’m here to explain I most definitely don’t. At least never all at once.
I’m the one that looks at the stay at home mom that finds awesome sensory activities to do with their kids with wonder and awe. In an instant, I also feel embarrassed that I haven’t made time to do this with my kids.
I’m the one that looks at the couple that gets date night in on a regular basis and gets jealous. That couple must be doing something right to make time for them.
So, when you see me posting stories on Instagram from work, then following them up with my kids singing, and a photo of my husband and I, know there’s much more story to tell. I’ve probably used awesome filters to hide the bags under my eyes and the stress acne on my face. Even though my kids are jumping around singing like little entertainers, know that either the minute proceeding this or the one right after, they did something that may have made me snap and yell. If my husband and I look super cozy in a picture together, know that it’s probably an older picture. We are currently either getting some extra work in before bed or one of us is passed out in bed already.
The truth is, perfection does. not. exist. Period. So even though my little family may look perfect on the outside, we are far from it. The thing about that… I’m 100% okay with it.
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