Why I’m Not My Daughter’s Best Friend
“You’re a mean mom! You are not my friend!” Those words were finally said to me at just three years old. I knew the day would come when my daughter would say them to me. I’m sure, in fact I know, I said them before to my mom at some point. It stung quite a bit but I heard myself say this right back: “well, I’m not your best friend, I’m your mom.”
You see it’s my job to teach her and guide her. Sure, I need to be there for her too, and I will continue to be there for her, but as her mom, not as my daughter’s best friend.
I will be there to teach her how to learn from my mistakes and how to eventually learn from her own. But, there is a fine line from teaching from my mistakes and sharing the details of those mistakes. Those are reserved for talks with girlfriends over drinks.
I will provide a shoulder to cry on. I will be her biggest cheerleader. But when she needs support from her best girlfriend, I hope she goes to one. One that she considers a peer. It will be good for her.
I will always give her so much love. Everyday. I will love her even when she is screaming she hates me. But, that love is strong because it is real. It is not forced and it is genuine. It will get us through fights and tough times. It will get us through discipline and disappointment. Friendship can come and go. The love between a mother and daughter is unbreakable.
There will come a day when my daughter doesn’t want to talk to me or will only give me pieces of information. I’m aware that day will come eventually. But, I also know because of this foundation I am building as her mother, she can put her trust in always coming back to me, no matter what. Because, as her mother, I am always, always here.
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